Welcome back to Book Bites, Big Ideas and Small Bites. Today, we're going to be talking about Mel Robbins, The High-Five Habit. Yeah.
Right? I know, I know. You're probably thinking high-fiving yourself in the mirror. Is that right? That's it.
That's the one. Sounds a little out there, a little bit strange, a little bit woo-woo. A little.
But stick with us because this book really takes, I think, a surprisingly deep look at the science behind positive self-talk and how these kind of silly actions can actually have a real impact. Yeah, absolutely. You really hit the nail on the head there.
So Robbins, she's a former lawyer. She's pretty big in the self-help world. And she connects this habit to something called the reticular activating system or the RAS.
It's a bit of a mouthful. Yeah. But I think you're probably already familiar with the idea that our brains filter out a ton of information every second.
Oh, yeah, for sure. The RAS is kind of like that bouncer at the club. Deciding what gets in.
I like... And Robbins is arguing that by consciously doing this high-five, making eye contact with yourself, you're essentially telling your RAS, hey, pay attention to this self-love stuff. It's important. Okay.
So it's not just about feeling good in that moment. Like you're saying, this can actually change the way our brains work, make them more positive. Yeah.
I mean, that's the core idea, right? The book's argument is that like this combination of a physical action and eye contact, that it strengthens neural pathways. So you're not just thinking positive thoughts. You're really creating this physical experience to reinforce them, like building, you know, laying down a new pathway in your brain.
Oh, I see. That leads straight to self-confidence. That's really fascinating.
I mean, is it really that easy? Like one high-five and you're good to go? Well, it's not, you know, magic, but the book emphasizes this consistency. You know, it's about making it a daily habit, like brushing your teeth, but for your mind. Right.
Okay. And Robbins actually suggests a few other RAS training techniques too. Some are a little bit more familiar, like journaling about positive experiences, practicing gratitude.
She has some, a little bit quirkier ones. Like she suggests looking for heart shapes throughout your day. Really? Yeah.
The idea is that whatever you focus on, your RAS is going to prioritize it. So if you're actively like seeking out hearts, you're training your brain to just notice the good stuff in general. Yeah.
I can see how that could work. It's kind of like priming your brain to be on the lookout for all the positivity. Yeah.
Even in like unexpected places. Yeah. So, okay.
So you've got your RAS all primed with that high-five. You're seeing hearts everywhere. What's next? Well, next, the book goes after those, you know, those pesky negative thoughts we all have.
Those, you know, limiting beliefs, you know, the ones I'm talking about. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The ones that hold us back.
Totally. Robbins calls it flipping the script. Oh, right, right, right.
I remember that part. It's about like taking those negative thoughts and actively reframing them. Yeah.
Yeah. Like turning, I'm not good enough into I am constantly learning and improving. Exactly.
Exactly. And it ties right back into the whole RAS thing we were talking about before. By consciously picking, you know, choosing those more empowering alternatives, you're basically retraining your brain to focus on like solutions and possibilities instead of just dwelling on like, you know, all the limitations.
Yeah. She gives a ton of examples. And it really is about, you know, becoming aware of those negative thought patterns and then actively like choosing to change the story you're telling yourself.
Yeah, yeah. It's like consciously picking a new channel to watch, to tune into instead of just like being stuck on that self-doubt channel. You put on something a little more empowering.
Oh, that's a great analogy. And another big thing that Robbins makes a point of is, you know, other people's successes, they shouldn't discourage us. Like instead of seeing it as competition, we can choose to see it as inspiration, like proof that, hey, these things are possible.
That's a really good point. It's so easy to fall into that comparison trap, especially today, you know, with social media and everything can be really hard to like celebrate someone else's wins when you're, you know, maybe feeling a little stuck yourself. Oh yeah, absolutely.
But if we can shift our perspective and see those successes as like motivation fuel for our own journeys, I think that can be really powerful. Yeah. Like there's enough success out there for everybody.
Someone else doing well, it doesn't like take away from your potential. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
And you know what? One thing that really impressed me about the high five habit was how Robbins reframes like failure and procrastination. You know, these are things that we usually like try to avoid at all costs. For sure.
But she's really encouraging us to like embrace them. OK, I'm really interested to hear more about that. How does she make embracing failure sound, you know, appealing? Well, you know, instead of seeing failure as this like setback, right? Robbins views it as valuable data.
It's a chance to learn, to, you know, make corrections and to just become more resilient overall. She encourages you to like analyze what went wrong, what you can learn from how you can maybe adjust your approach for next time. You know, it's almost like she's saying you can turn failure into like a stepping stone to success.
Yeah. So it's not about just being like fearless. Right.
It's more about like changing how we think about fear, like understanding that those setbacks are going to happen, but they don't have to, you know, like define us or anything. Exactly. Exactly.
And that, you know, that connects to procrastination, too. Right. We often procrastinate because we're afraid of failing or not living up to expectations.
Right. But if we can change how we see it and, you know, see failure as just part of the process. Yeah.
We're less likely to get stuck in that cycle of just avoiding things. Totally. That makes a lot of sense.
It's like giving yourself permission to mess up and learn from it. Exactly. Exactly.
And, you know, Robbins offers some pretty practical tools for dealing with procrastination. Like, have you heard of her five second rule? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
The five second rule. Yeah. What do you think about that one? It's about counting down from five and then taking action before your brain can like talk you out of it.
Right. Yeah. Yeah.
It's almost like a way to like hack your brain to get around, you know, those feelings of doubt and resistance. That's a great way to put it. Yeah.
It's really about shifting from like overthinking to taking action, even if it's, you know, a really small step. Right. And the book also talks about breaking down, you know, those big tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks, visualizing, you know, visualizing success, celebrating the small wins along the way.
Yeah. I think all of that can really help build momentum and make those like bigger goals feel less overwhelming. It's almost like you're setting up like a positive feedback loop.
Yeah. Where each small win, it kind of fuels you to keep going, you know. You're exactly right.
And, you know, it's not even just about those, you know, external goals. It's about developing like self-trust and resilience. Robbins, she makes a big point of saying that resilience is not about being tough or never, you know, having things go wrong.
It's about how you respond to those challenges. Yeah. Like having that inner strength and the resources to bounce back and like keep moving forward no matter what.
Exactly. And she actually, she highlights some key things that make up resilience, like regulating your emotions, being able to think flexibly, having a solid support system, and then connecting to a sense of purpose. All of those things, you know, they help us deal with the ups and downs of life a little bit better.
Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. It's like having that inner compass and also the support around you to get through those rough patches and come out, you know, stronger.
Yeah. You got it. You know, one thing I found really interesting was how the book talks about like the connection between intuition and resilience.
Oh, right. It's all about learning to trust your gut and using it as a guide. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. I remember that part of the book's like tapping into like that inner wisdom we all have. But, you know, it's not always easy to tell the difference between those like intuitive feelings and, you know, just our own fears and insecurities.
Yeah, that's true. It definitely takes, uh, it takes practice and being really self-aware. But Robbins, she does offer some techniques like meditation, journaling, and also reflecting on times in the past where, you know, your intuition led you in the right direction.
It's about building that trust in yourself and your ability to, you know, make good decisions. And I guess the more you trust yourself, the more resilient you become, right? Because, you know, you've got that like inner guidance to rely on even when things get tough. Exactly.
Exactly. And speaking of trusting yourself, the book also goes into this whole idea of visualization and manifestation. Okay.
Yeah. I'm really curious about this part. Visualization can sometimes feel a little, you know, a little woo-woo, but Robbins usually seems pretty, you know, grounded in her approach.
So how does she talk about it? Well, she breaks it down into these like practical steps. It's not about just wishing and hoping for things to happen. It's about actively like taking action and making sure your beliefs match up with what you want to create.
Okay. She talks about creating like detailed pictures in your mind, using all your senses, and practicing regularly. And then she ties that into this process of manifestation, which is defining your goals clearly, believing that they're possible, taking action, you know, staying open to new opportunities and trusting the process.
So it's about combining that like inner work of visualization with, you know, actually taking action in the real world. Exactly. And she really emphasizes that this is a journey, not like a destination, you know? It's about consistently putting in the work, trusting the process and being patient with yourself.
Yeah. That's really important, especially today when everything is, you know, instant gratification. I think we forget that real change, it takes time and effort and being willing to keep going even when you don't see, you know, results right away.
Absolutely. Speaking of real change, what are your thoughts on how the high five habit has been received? Does it seem like people are finding it helpful? Yeah. From what I've seen, it's gotten a pretty positive response.
It has like an average rating of 4.26 stars, which is pretty good. Wow. Yeah.
And a lot of the reviews, they praise its simple, empowering approach, which I think makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense to me. I think people like how she, you know, uses her own personal stories, but then also backs it up with science.
It makes it feel relatable and believable at the same time. Totally. And she's, you know, such a dynamic speaker and writer.
She really knows how to connect with people. But I mean, like any popular book, there are going to be some criticisms. Of course.
Yeah. Some reviewers, they said it was repetitive or maybe a little too long. Yeah, I can see that.
I mean, some of the concepts, they're repeated throughout the book, but I think that's intentional. You know, it's about that reinforcement, creating those new, you know, pathways in the brain we were talking about. Right.
But I get how it could feel repetitive to some readers. Yeah, I think it probably depends on like your learning style and, you know, how much you already know about this stuff. If you're brand new to self-help, you know, maybe the repetition is helpful.
But if you've read a lot of these kinds of books already, you might just skim those sections. Yeah, that's a good point. It's all about finding what works for you and taking what you need, you know.
But overall, I think the high five habit offers a pretty good framework for developing a more positive mindset and taking control of your life. Yeah, I agree. It's not, you know, a magic solution or anything, but it gives you some practical steps for personal growth.
And even if you're not sold on the whole like high fiving yourself in the mirror thing. Which, yeah, let's be honest, it can feel a little awkward at first. Yeah, for sure.
Even if that part doesn't really resonate with you, there's still a lot of good stuff in the book. That main message of self-love and positive self-talk and taking action. I think that's something we can all benefit from.
Absolutely. And I think that's what makes the book so appealing. It's not about becoming this perfect, you know, superhuman version of yourself.
It's about those small, consistent things you do that create a stronger foundation for like believing in yourself and being resilient. Yeah. It's about shifting from like criticizing yourself all the time to actually encouraging yourself, recognizing your worth and treating yourself with like the same kindness and compassion you would offer a friend.
That's a beautiful way to put it. And honestly, that's a message I think we all need to hear more often. It's like we forget to be nice to ourselves in all the chaos of life.
Yeah, we're definitely our own worst critics sometimes. But what if we could actually like change that voice in our heads and be our own biggest cheerleaders? That's really what The High Five Habit is all about, right? Yeah. It's about knowing that you deserve that love and support.
And sometimes you got to start with yourself. So as we wrap up our book Bites on The High Five Habit, what's like one big thing you hope people listening take away from it? You know, I think the biggest thing, whether or not you're actually going to high five yourself in the mirror, is just that power of choosing to focus on the good and rewiring your brain to think more positively. It's about realizing you're thinking those negative thoughts and then actively, you know, choosing to think something different, something that lifts you up.
It's like taking control of that inner voice and choosing to see what's possible instead of just focusing on the limitations. And that's something that we can all do no matter what our lives look like right now. Exactly.
And you know, it's not about never messing up or being perfect. It's about becoming more resilient, being able to bounce back from those tough times and keep going. Yeah, to realizing that failure is going to happen sometimes.
And we actually learn and grow the most from those so-called failures. So, you know, embrace those stumbles, learn from them, and just keep moving forward. And don't forget to give yourself credit for all those little wins along the way.
Every step you take, no matter how small, it's worth celebrating. That is so important. Those small wins, they help us build momentum and strengthen those positive connections in our brains.
So yeah, give yourself a pat on the back for every step you take in the right direction. And you know, if you're looking for a tool, something that's simple but powerful to help you with your own self-discovery and personal growth, the high-five habit might be just what you need. It's definitely worth checking out.
And hey, you never know, you might find yourself high-fiving your reflection in the mirror with a whole new sense of, you know, self-love. Or at least giving yourself a mental high-five. The important thing is to find what works for you and start taking those steps, even if they're small, toward the life you want to live.
That's what Book Bites is all about, bringing you those big ideas and small bites to keep you learning and growing and exploring new things. So if you like this episode, make sure you subscribe to Book Bites wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you found this Book Bites on the high-five habit helpful, please leave us a five-star review.
It really helps other bookworms find the show. Until next time, keep reading, keep learning, and keep those high-fives going. Happy reading, everyone!
